And the spotting continues. The endometrin really is holding AF back way better than last month. A bit of her is coming through so that makes me 99.99% sure that we are out this month. However, my beta isn't until Monday. I probably won't waste another test at home. I have the cheapies but it's not even worth it since I'm pretty sure I know where I stand.
Another depressing month. We did everything right.
If i get a call at 1.30pm on Monday with news I'm not expecting I'd be surprised. It's happened though. However, I wouldn't be surprised if it was another chemical. I just feel like something is happening in there. Sperm is meeting egg and doing its thing but then nothing. Another low positive may mean nothing to my stupid doctor though. I can't believe he blamed the other one on a possible lab mistake. What an idiot. I had HCG in my system and you think it's a mistake? Oh, and glad you trust your lab folks.
That leads me to my situation for this next cycle. I go to a large facility that has many offices. I was going to go to a different doctor at a different office right away but they don't have any appointments until late August. I also made an appointment with a completely different facility but I have a feeling I'm not going to have my records in time and he may even want to do certain tests and not want to put me right into something. So I may reschedule that appointment. I know people that have had success with him and his facility is smaller compared to where I go now. I don't feel like a number where I go now but I do sometimes feel like they don't personalize each situation (ie, him not giving a shit about my post O spotting).
Soooooooo, it looks like I'll jump into another cycle with the current doctor. Not my first choice but I have insurance to cover it and it's an "I may as well" situation. We are probably planning a vacation that we'd leave for right after the next 2ww. Since we won't be able to go directly into another cycle then, I think I'll take September off from medicine (try on our own of course and *maybe* still use endometrin after the O) and get in with new facility.
Gosh, obviously I'm already discounting even the NEXT cycle. I need to stay positive but I also like to have a plan just in case next time is negative.
Maybe a month off will do me good. I need some good. I can't continue to live this way. Wishing days away and wishing weeks away isn't good.
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